I look back to year ago in our lives. What a different story! There was caos, anger, bitterness, confusion, and plenty more emotions! I am so greatful that we have such a big God and that He is capable of moving those mountains of emotions! I know for a fact that we are doing much better due to God's hand in our lives.
A prayer that I prayed almost a year ago today was to quiet my spirit. Well I tell ya, God had His work cut out because my spirit was on FIRE! And it was creating a destructive path. My children had been picking up on my very unsettled spirit for so long that they were also very angry. You can imagine the outbursts at home and sometimes even in public! I knew that as we embarked on our new life living on the ranch with grandpa and grandma that we had to make changes. I was a very blessed to be able to have time to heal. I didn't have to work or be anywhere. I had to time to reflect and heal. Now I'm sure you've read prior posts....and if you haven't you should. It will give you a clearer picture of my journey. During my time of reflection I asked God to heal me. To quiet my spirit and to be filled with His love. It wasn't instant and it didn't come without a fight.... but it came. I just kept my heart open and willing. And God kept me under His wing as I threw all my tantrums. The boys were healed almost immediately. I prayed with passion that the Lord would have mercy upon them and fill them with His love and grace. It was amazing to watch the angry words get kinder, the frustrating fits turn into times of reasoning, tears of pure bitterness change to tears of remorse, and to see our family slowly starting to come together in love. There was more laughter and less tears, more loving touches and less hatred, and most of all our home became more peaceful.
I would have never imagined, with my big personality, and with the hurt and stresses of the past that it was even possible to quiet my spirit. But I learned that when God promises something, He can do it! We just have to be open and willing!