Filling up your love tank

What is your love language?  Mine is quality time, and affirmation.  Sit with me, listen while I talk, and let me know I'm loved.    Never fail, I have 40 000 words to get out and I need a very patient ear!  My parents are the best, they listen .... and listen.... and listen.  I always know when I've started to talk too much because after I take a breath between word 29 999 and 30 000 they start to laugh.  But they still keep listening.  I know I'm loved and they are so good at showing it.  When I look at my own children I can share with you what each of their love languages are.  I make sure that I fill that love tank right up atleast once a day.  

Fill up the love tank of a loved one.  Take time to notice how they wish to be loved.  

The following are a list of the 5 love languages.

"The first love language listed is words of affirmation. The language we hear, be it positive affirming words or negative language and feedback, drastically effects our developing personalities and therefore our behaviors.

The second love language listed is gifts: "A gift is a tangible object that says, 'I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this. I love you.' . . . A gift by its very nature is not payment for services rendered. When a dating partner says, 'I will give you . . if you will . .' the partner is not offering a gift, nor is he expressing love. The person is simply striking a deal."

The third love language the book lists is acts of service. For instance, "I know he loves me because he always checks my car over before I leave on a business trip. He checks the oil, the tires, and makes sure I have windshield washer fluid, etc."

The next love language is quality time. This love language is about the experiences we share with our loved ones. How do you spend your time together? Quality time does not involve you in one room surfing the internet while he is in the other room watching ESPN!

The final love language is physical touch. The book states, "Numerous research projects in the area of child development have come to the same conclusion: Babies who are held, hugged, and touched tenderly develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. . ."Almost instinctively in a time of crisis we hug one another. Why? Because physical touch is a powerful communicator of love."

         A discussion from ...

A discussion of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages 

Failure to Success

I am now a firm believer that your life journey's are a true test of character, and if you choose to grow during those times then you will also grow in character.  I look back on all that I've been through in life, good and bad and I don't regret any of my experiences.  Some make me sad, others make me smile.  All in all I'm glad I went through each and every experience.  I approached some with grace and others with a less desirable attitude but as I tackle more of life's journey's I have decided to use them to build character and to grow.  I am forever grateful for God's grace and mercy through all I've been through.

What do you want to be when you grow up?  The big question we were asked as kids.  I wanted to be a mommy.  I was told once that being a mommy wasn't a good enough answer, that I needed to aspire to be something great in the world.  I needed to focus on school and a future career.  I will never forget the day that man said that to me.  It stuck with me forever and unfortunately I based my personal success on his statement to me.  I look back on so many "starts and stops", I never followed through on many things I started.  I had no goals.  My self worth was a zero.  I blamed others for my lack of success.  I would actually give a sigh of relief if I was given permission to not complete something I started. I wouldn't take responsibility either, I'd point fingers at others and say that they were the cause of my failure.  When I became a mother I took these habits with me.  I desperately tried in my own will to raise them the best I could.  But at night I was plagued with a day full of failure.  I'd try to fill the void of feeling like a failure with my kids and try to start a job or I'd talk of going back to school.  My poor family and friends that have had to endure years of me telling them of ALL the jobs I would start or of all the different schooling I might do.  Oh my goodness.  I think I've thought of being everything from a Car Salesperson to a Senior's Fitness Instructor in the last 17 years, and many other things in between!  I make myself dizzy just thinking back on it all!  If only I'd just focused on being a mommy!  A wife!  A friend!  A sister!  A daughter!  My goodness my plate would have been more than full!  Those were the things most precious to me and yet most neglected!  Why on earth had I listened to that horrible advice to pursue something more than being a mommy.  That was my dream!  And that was OK!

Right up until 2 years ago I was still feeling like a complete failure.  To top it off my marriage ended.  No career. No marriage.  No success in raising my kids.  THANK GOD FOR GRACE!  I'm sad my marriage ended but I don't regret it.  It was a good decision, for many reasons.  I decided for the first time in my life EVER to work on building relationships.  First with God.  Without God I could not be a success at anything.  Without God I had no identity.  I was absolutely done trying to do things in my own power!  If you've read my blog you will see my journey of letting God have all of me.  I was NAKED before him.  I was FINALLY ready to let God do it.  I just gave it all to Him.  If I'd have it my way I'd have changed things over night.  That would have been easy and would have felt really really good! (in my own humaness).   But of course that's not practical and I would be lacking in a great amount of character.  If you would have asked me 2 years ago where I'd be today I would have answered with a prayer that I'd be sane!  Well I'm happy to say I'm more than that!  I'm a SUCCESS!  Yes I am!  For the first time in my life I am no longer a failure, I'm successfull.  I AM a mom.  I AM a sister.  I AM a daughter.  I AM a friend.  And I have a job!  I will admit I have only recently given God the whole job thing.  When I finally did I was pleasantly surprised He knew me more than I did!  I just laugh at myself!  I have the perfect job as an Education Assistant!  To top it off I have the biggest blessing of all, 3 beautiful boys who are being parented!  With great success!  

I'm going to take a breather!  I promise to write again soon!

Its been awhile!

I seriously have to commit to being more dedicated in posting on my blog!  I definitely have enough to write about!  I just need to take the time!

Love has found its way into my heart!  What a story I have to tell!

For the first time ever I feel like I'm successful!  What an awesome feeling!

I have accepted my past and have no regrets.  Sometimes it just makes me sad.  What an experience of character building,

I gave 200% in raising my kids the last 2 years.  Tears, sweat and exhaustion BUT pure rewards.  What an amazing God I have to give such a miracle.

I have so much to be greatful for.  So many lessons I've learned and to still learn.  

I can't wait to share!

I promise to share alot more frequently!

Barb

I Rest in Christ

Christ is my peace...my strength...my calm.  A close friend said to me once, it is ok to fall into Christs arms when we are tired and to just rest there in His mercy and grace.  I take comfort in that!  The world can be such a busy place.  I get caught up in the business of the day and I get overwhelmed.  I get overwhelmed with the trials in my life and I get distressed.  I get workup over little issues and I become tired.  LIFE!  But I love the fact that I can take solace in the love of my Saviour and that His arms are open 24 hrs, for me to rest.

Broken

This summer we finalized our divorce.  What a heartbreaking time.  I worked very hard all year to make sure our kids still felt like they still had a family.  I never in a million years would have wanted to see my children suffer from the break up of their parents. It broke my heart that my children were put in that statistic of a broken home.  Our home wasn't broken!  It was just different!  I have cried out to the Lord so many times to protect their hearts and to give them a security in relationships.
At the end of this summer we faced some news that I will not fully share but it very much was a sign to the children that their dad had moved on.  It was a sign to me too!  I all of a sudden felt like we were broken... we had fallen into that statistic.  My heart broke.  Why God would our little family be faced with this!  I forever had dreamed of a full functioning family!  Not a broken one!  To look at my children and see the tears and confusion in their faces was tormenting!  The anxiety that overwhelmed me was disabling.  For a week I asked God, "why my family!"
By the way.... this week was last week.  This is fresh.
This week I still don't have all the answers, but I have peace.  We aren't broken.  Even though the church would like to look at me like we are, and the man that interviews me tells me that I'm a single mom so that is hard to hire in a Christain atmosphere... God keeps on telling me that in Him we are whole.  My kids have a great family.  A good one, and a loving one.
My family is unique but whole

Quiet spirits

I look back to year ago in our lives.  What a different story!  There was caos, anger, bitterness, confusion, and  plenty more emotions!  I am so greatful that we have such a big God and that He is capable of moving those mountains of emotions!  I know for a fact that we are doing much better due to God's hand in our lives.
A prayer that I prayed almost a year ago today was to quiet my spirit.  Well I tell ya, God had His work cut out because my spirit was on FIRE!  And it was creating a destructive path.  My children had been picking up on my very unsettled spirit for so long that they were also very angry.  You can imagine the outbursts at home and sometimes even in public!  I knew that as we embarked on our new life living on the ranch with grandpa and grandma that we had to make changes.  I was a very blessed to be able to have time to heal.  I didn't have to work or be anywhere.  I had to time to reflect and heal.  Now I'm sure you've read prior posts....and if you haven't you should.  It will give you a clearer picture of my journey.  During my time of reflection I asked God to heal me.  To quiet my spirit and to be filled with His love.  It wasn't instant and it didn't come without a fight.... but it came.  I just kept my heart open and willing.  And God kept me under His wing as I threw all my tantrums.  The boys were healed almost immediately.  I prayed with passion that the Lord would have mercy upon them and fill them with His love and grace.  It was amazing to watch the angry words get kinder, the frustrating fits turn into times of reasoning, tears of pure bitterness change to tears of remorse, and to see our family slowly starting to come together in love.  There was more laughter and less tears, more loving touches and less hatred, and most of all our home became more peaceful.
I would have never imagined, with my big personality, and with the hurt and stresses of the past that it was even possible to quiet my spirit.  But I learned that when God promises something, He can do it!  We just have to be open and willing!

Hola!

Nothing like taking 5 months off of writing in my blog!  Wow time flies by so fast.  I feel like we barely saw summer!  Now school is back in session and we are all cracking the whip with routines and after school activities.  I am still looking for some work, during school hours.  I had an interview today with an online Christian school to do their finance and marketing.  DREAM JOB!  So I really hope I get it.
Well in the last 5 months I've had plenty of time to learn more lessons, dream bigger dreams, and to quiet my soul to the Lords leading.
I may not be the most experience writer but everything is definitely from the heart!